Secret agent hand puppet’s escape and evasion guide – 1940s, declassified section 1

Secret Agent’s Hand Puppet’s  ‘Escape and Evasion’ Instruction Guide

 Excerpts from recently declassified documents from the 1940 and 1950s – originally issued to agents, selected officers, other ranks and their hand puppets.

In the Event of Capture: Under the Geneva Convention, the hand puppets of captured soldiers or downed fliers should not be mistreated, incarcerated or repatriated separately from their owners.

ESCAPE: It is the duty of you and your military issue puppet to escape given the opportunity. Always make sure that your puppet is suitably disguised as well – you would not wish him to give you away to the enemy at that crucial border crossing moment. 

Should you be caught and face the firing squad together, make sure your puppet’s eyes are suitably covered. Request a separate blindfold, should his / your hands be tied and unable to cover his own eyes.

Extract from Jules L. Macaco, Hand Puppets in Wartime – A Historical Overview

 The standard GI, ‘Military Issue’ or Volunteer hand puppet could be extremely invaluable in the event of your being captured and interned.

‘Military Issue’ hand puppets are designed with the following escape and evasion features installed, depending on the theatre of war for which they are issued:

1. Lining of your hand puppet’s body is usually a map of main towns, transport routes, borders and neutral countries in Occupied Europe / South-east Asia.

2. Concealed within the tail section; a rolled printed silk map of Italy and North Africa and sometimes flexible metal saw.

Cover stories

Many maps are marked with the position of major puppet theatres behind enemy lines or occupied areas should you get stuck and have to try and bluff it out for the rest of the hostilities. Where better to hide a needle than in a sewing box (if no haystacks are available) or a tree but in a forest?

To this end, you are recommended during the quiet periods in service life to perfect a few useful circus skills, amusing bits of business or variety routines which will pass muster in these circumstances.

3. Eyes: removable and joined by wire (flexible metal saw)

Alternative options are a magnifying glass for starting small fires or a small crystal which with special whiskers can be used as components of a small crystal radio set to listen for coded BBC radio messages) – see also maker’s label .

4. Nose: removable to reveal miniaturised compass (or gold and gemstones to buy your way to safety)

(Note: On the hand puppets of captured enemy special agents, these have been found to conceal cyanide pills).

5. Maker’s label (identity number etc.) contains coded or encrypted radio frequencies and coordinates.

6. Tongue or ear patches: dyes to help with forgery of documents  or removable / reversible as fake eyebrows, moustaches or sideburns.

7. Dyed Padding (concealed within your hand puppet’s kapok for brains): 

Available options:

• gun cotton wadding with small amounts with plastic explosive option,
• more small maps, silk-printed potted national histories, useful language phrases with pronunciation and silk printed recipes and wine buff’s guide so you can convincingly knock up a decent ‘local’ dish and pass for a native;
• small packets of survival rations in powder form
• aniseed to distract tracker dogs
• small packets of dye;
• small amount of plaster of paris (plaster de paris) and plasticine for taking copies or castings of keys
• bandages 
• useful false beard, eyebrows and moustache kit (available in a range of hair colours for you and your hand puppet).  

8. Alterable or adaptable squeaker to adapt to foreign sounding squeaks / accents

‘Volunteer’ hand puppets

Spares boxes and first aid boxes can be safely and innocuously used to provide a source of the necessary equipment and alterations along with useful needles to be magnetised etc.

 Please note that Red Cross parcels are not to be compromised by the inclusion of escape materials or messages.

Declassified from puppetgov.org.uk  c/o and copyright  Hand Puppets for Conservation, Jules L. Macaco

© Jules L. Macaco, Mark Norris and associates, Hand Puppets For Conservation HPFC 2003/2009

To be used with permission of HPFC only, c/o juleslmacaco@live.co.uk

Copyright on HPFC items, concepts and writing is protected by the threat of being followed day and night by hand puppets, both ‘alive’ and those who have ‘passed over’. Having Punch, the ghost, policeman and crocodile out of Punch and Judy on your case is not fun either. Think Captain Hook. Despite having kapok for brains, this is our intellectual property and contribution to the world.

All our proceeds go towards supporting conservation. Think of the poor rare animals you’ll be defrauding … so for the (g)love of puppets or their wrath, don’t! Even lawyers have hand puppets and hand puppets have lawyers.

Happy Christmas!

 

A little Bohemian rhapsody to beat the Winter blues, a ‘Useful training exercise’ and why video conferencing can be unproductive.

Jules L. Macaco of Hand Puppets for Conservation (based at Newquay Zoo) would like to share the following video training exercise with you.  He is now recovering from the Sixties Night at Knowsley Hall as part of the BIAZA ACE 2009 conference last week. Thanks to Denise and all the Knowsley team for setting up such an ace conference and to Adele at Woburn Safari Park for allowing Jules to do his “favourite prop session”.

 

Singing penguins, musical plants, chorusing cacti, something for zoos, aquariums and botanic gardens.  

 

Jules says: “We should always be looking for fresh methods, both ancient and modern, of communicating to our visitors such as PuppetPoint, puppets and video. Whilst Newquay Zoo has a YouTube channel, it has nothing quite as fine as this one, being The Muppet version of Bohemian Rhapsody” at: http://www.youtube.com/user/MuppetsStudio and  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgbNymZ7vqY

 

Inspired? Visit our Hand Puppets for Conservation Blog at https://juleslmacaco.wordpress.com   Hand Puppets For Conservation  with our page on musical training exercises for your education hand puppets.  

 

 

Remember, in Kermit’s words, it’s not easy being green and that video conferencing doesn’t get any more unproductive than this!

 

Thanks to our friends at Innocent Drinks (Newsletter) and to http://Twitter.com/MuppetsStudio

 

Remember, a hand puppet is for life (unfortunately), not just for Christmas

 

Enjoy!

Posted by  Mark Norris
 – PA and support worker for Jules L Macaco,

Hand Puppets For Conservation – for the (g)love of puppets  HP4C juleslmacaco@live.co.uk    
 

Musical Differences: Getting to Know Yo’ (Your) Hand Puppet: No. 1, a useful training exercise

 

 Yo’ (your) puppet usually loves to ‘lip sync’ or sing along to music.

 Why? Try playing a wide range of music until you find the character – the right style, rhythm and dance style for yo’ (your) puppet.

How?

Gesture, expression, timing, rhythm and attitude is all.

Use this exercise (and a large mirror to let you help him perfect his lip syncing) to gain some idea of coordinated movement and character.

 You can choose to ignore yo’ puppet throughout. Think ‘quiet impassive one on the keyboards in the Pet Shop Boys’ . Alternatively you can ‘lip sync’ a duet if you get really bored – avoid anything too smoochy.  

Smouldering shoe gazing, abandoned dancing, head bobbing and head banging are all part of this free expression. You never know, you could both be ‘lip syncing’ on Top of the Pops or talent style shows one day!

What? Think  wide – rap for yo’ puppets, opera, bhangra, music hall, Hollywood song and dance musicals, Sinatra style crooning, Irish folk songs, reggae.

More worrying still, your puppet also finds Pop (or Puppet) Idol , X-Factor, Fame Academy  and Strictly style dancing shows compulsive viewing. It’s probably a thing about sequins. Hopefully you share these TV tastes.

When? Compiling and recording your joint ‘Desert Island Disc’ collection with your puppet is one enjoyable way to spend a wet afternoon or a long prison sentence.*

* Playing music in public can infringe copyright. Check performing rights licences. Letting your puppet illegally download can land you both in prison.

What to play?

Different puppet colleagues of mine have acquired a passion for ‘lip synching’, squeaking, playing air guitar or head-banging (both natural hand puppet talents)  along to the following:

• anything self pitying by Morrissey or the Smiths
• Thirties French Cabaret (Edith Piaf, Maurice Chevalier, Charles Trenet)
• Judy Garland numbers
• Celine Dion power ballads (the Titanic one and on and on …)
• Endless Marlene Dietrich and Marilyn Monroe …
• The entire Pogues back catalogue (and the mother of all hangovers the next morning)
• Eighties New Romantic, Soft Cell and Pet Shop Boys recordings
• Skate Punk, early Avril Lavigne, Sex Pistols, rap and hip hop
• Deep Growlers – Tom Waits, Barry White, Nick Cave (including that infamous duet with Kylie)
• Famous Operatic arias including Nessun Dorma and other dramatic gestural ones
• Crackly 78 Music Hall recordings and George Formby numbers
• Richard Burton reading Dylan Thomas, Under Milk Wood
• Famous Shakespearean Soliloquies
• Gilbert and Sullivan’s ‘Major General’ song
• Kate Bush, Wuthering Heights
• Winston Churchill’s wartime speeches, Martin Luther King’s I Have  A Dream speech, Barack Obama’s Yes We Can!  speech …
• Rocky Horror Picture Show, the Sound of Music singalongs.

 

 

 

What next?

Let yo’ puppet educate your musical tastes and you his.

It’s one reason to stay awake during the advert breaks or keep the radio on, in case they show sudden interest. Letting them choose their selection on the pub jukebox can cause problems and arguments. Equally the radio at breakfast time … Radio 1? Radio 2? What is your hand puppet’s natural musical home?

Dealing with Musical Differences

Luckily the Abba and Andrew Lloyd Webber phases are usually shortlived. The Kylie thing they rarely grow out of. Tolerance or ear plugs may be required.

Lili Marlene is fine – Horst Wessel and Waffen SS Marching songs are a worrying choice.

The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl’s Fairytale Of New York is a perfect foul mouthed Punch and Judy duet of romance and venom (with added hangover) to practice.

 

Little known or believed HPFC fact: Alanis Morrisette almost wrote a song about Jules L. Macaco and hand puppets once. Can you guess which one?

© Jules L. Macaco, Mark Norris and associates, Hand Puppets For Conservation HPFC 2003/2009

To be used with permission of HPFC only, c/o juleslmacaco@live.co.uk

Copyright on HPFC items, concepts and writing is protected by the threat of being followed day and night by hand puppets, both ‘alive’ and those who have ‘passed over’. Having Punch, the ghost, policeman and crocodile out of Punch and Judy on your case is not fun either. Think Captain Hook. Despite having kapok for brains, this is our intellectual property and contribution to the world.

All our proceeds go towards supporting conservation. Think of the poor rare animals you’ll be defrauding … so for the (g)love of puppets or their wrath, don’t! Even lawyers have hand puppets and hand puppets have lawyers.

Puppet Jules’ diary 27 November 2004 – Kylie, John Peel and Jules’ unpublished blog …

Recovered from Puppet Jules’ Secret Diary for 2004. It just goes to prove  our motto: Remember a puppet is for life, not just for Christmas (however irritating they might be).

 Saturday 27^th November 2004 (extract recovered)

“Have discovered M my PA (puppet assistant) hAs neW  l@PTop so can RITE of aLL my thoughts AND experiences as find pens trRicKier thAn shIftkEys  … find the auto correct and spellchecker  …

There, that’s better. Red letter day for me and xmas come early.  Discover by accident my xmas present  – the Ultimate Kylie collection on CD, M’s feeble attempt at sweetening me up for his being dirty stopout and workaholic. Insist on it being played loudly all morning otherwise will sulk. House and hand puppet vibrating in union with Kylie. Better than Saturday morning of dull old ‘Home Truths’ on Radio without John Peel, who would also no doubt have enjoyed Kylie, although M cruelly say John Peel only played ‘proper music’ so Peel might play one  half of that disastrous Nick Cave duet (Oh Kylie, Kylie … why?) but it would not be her half …

 M calls and texts friends to complain about this constant Kylie ‘noise’, calling it  “sonic wrath of hand puppets armed with an Antipodean mini diva fixation”. I call it ‘class’ and dream some more of Kylie’s manicured hands, blonde curls and sashaying hips, not forgetting  … M describe this dreamy expression as ‘that daft grin’. He should know.

Hopefully M has taken the hint about the Kylie calendar for xmas. I hint more clearly this year as ‘last’ year’s West Highland Terrier one bought in February at knock down price just not the same

Hopefully M will help finish the 101 tips for training your hand puppet book with me – he say I am slack as co author. All he do is stay out till all hours then moon about watching Bridget Jones on DVD, follweed by Enigma with Saffron Burrows and Kate Winslet (sadly not Kylie) and read about codebreaking.

He say, although we miss visiting Bletchley Park a few weeks ago en route from a zoo conefrence,  however we get to watch Enigma soon as it is top film and have gorgeous Kate Winslet in it. I say Kate is  not as lovely as Kylie, being also taller than me. We both agree that Bridget / Renee Z is also ‘top person’ but looks more lovely ‘just as she is’ in Bridget Jones. Must see Chicago to see if she can sing, as M say I must develop a wider range of interests to become truly rounded as a personality …”

PA’s Note, 2009: Extract recovered from Puppet Jules’ Secret diary 2004 – published by his PA, 2009. We’re still waiting for  Jules to finish a limited edition first printing of 101 copies of our Hand Puppets for Conservation 101 tips for training your hand puppet book  hopefully in time for Christmas 2009, all proceeds to conservation.  Jules’ command of english and keybaords has slightly improved in five years. Watch this space anyway … M

Rest in strange noise, John Peel.

Hand Puppets For / 4 Conservation: for the (g)love of puppets

Since 1998 I have been working with my friends at Newquay Zoo in Cornwall, UK on promoting conservation of rare animals, including lemurs from Madagascar.  I still make occasional appearances telling the story of Jules the orphan Black lemur based on Newquay Zoo’s involvement with The Black Lemur Forest Project run by Josephine Andrews in Madagascar in the 1990s.

Since attending my first zoo education conference in 1998, writing my first conference paper in 2001 and especially travelling to the USA in 2002, I have become semi-retired and devoted my (kapok for) brains to writing, promoting the (g)love of puppets, puppetry and its use in conservation.

I have also in my underhandpuppet role done various  secret research and freelance writing with my co-worker Mark Norris, literally my Right-hand man and PA (Puppet Assistant) at Newquay Zoo into various topics such as the highly secret history of puppets in wartime, reconstructions of famous historical people’s hand puppets, along with amateur gardening and cookery tips for hand puppets and their long-suffering owners.

My 101 tips for training your hand puppet has been used in training sessions with other zoos such as Living Coasts in Devon. Music and dance is also great for training so I have compiled a plylist to share with you.

(I love to boogie. Sadly my PA Mark doesn’t. Thankfully I get asked to dance and fling  at zoo conferences and go freelance).  

Alanis Morrisette almost wrote a song about me. Watch this space …

These and all the other facts about my varied life I look forward to sharing with you.

I look forward to co-writing my own blog, sharing this research and my tips on living with hand puppets and also look forward one day to making short films to promote conservation. Remembering what Kermit says, it’s not easy being green.

Give some money or time to a conservation group today!

Much love and puppets, Jules.

Remember a hand puppet is not just for Christmas, it’s for life.

Jules L Macaco, co-author of this blog and co-founder of Hand Puppets 4 Conservation